I'm so fed up on myself being so down/emo and think so much nowadays.
I don't know why, but the feeling towards you has grown even more, which make me feel so worries and insecure.
Sometimes, I really feel like you are escaping from me, I always thought I'm sensitive, so I do really really doubt if you are trying to avoid me. I wish, I really wish, if i can know what you're thinking currently, just for once in my life time would be enough.
Its really really sad,
You said you don't want to get disturbed, and I studied with you, it was okay at the beginning, but after a while, you just walked away and talked to the others instead, left without a single word.
Although I knew it's never gonna be easy, but... my heart is just too fucking weak and soft currently. There're friends who told me its possible, I do have chance, but there're people who said I don't stand a chance too. And somehow I will doubt a bit on the people who said I have chance, because its most likely that they don't want to hurt me, or make me feel sad.
And I noticed that you replied your friend more than me, male friends also. I think I'm sort of jealous, no offense. =(
After all, I still have to smile, laugh, be happy for a brand new day tomorrow, I won't let you see how stupid/down/doubtful am I, but I wish you could understand at the same time, I know I'm being so idiotic now, fighting with myself.
- Believe in it, face it with happiness, do my best, and the rainbow will be out.
Smile! =)
